The biggest witch in the ocean (no pun intended) bucks the tide in this new musical parody telling her side of the story. Guillermo Nazara shares his views on the show, to let us know if its fishy plot deserves to be raked ‘cross the coals.
I'll be blunt
The only way to say what I want is to write a song review myself!
Oh, can you do that?
Your mama, bit-- I mean...
My sweet (*cough*) passive-aggressive child - that's what I do, it's what I live for.
To help (*cough, cough*) unfortunate artists like these ones!
Poor sadistic actors with no one else to play it rough with.
I admit that in the past I've seen some rubbish
Wasn't kidding when I said a show was sh*t
But I've found that now and then
I long to yell "Amen"
With a play that, from my wrath, I can acquit
So last night I came to find my next offender
Was a piece, they claimed, 'bout Ursula, the witch
From the start, I had no doubt,
My sharpened knives were out
In this ocean there's just room for one bad b*tch! (that's me, hun)
This 'Unfortunate' show!
So camp, straight-proof
The first act was just okay
While the second got to sway
But were the laughs high?
Through the roof!
This cute 'Unfortunate' show!
So mad, so daft
Yes, the roles are not too deep
'Wicked' signals are to bleep
But do they bring smiles?
That's their craft!
Now it's true that with some jokes
They could trigger bigger chokes
And those corrections, I'm afraid, I can't let go
Yes, they need a tweak or two,
But on the whole the amusement grew
Through this sweet 'Unfortunate' show!
Now, here's the thing: the first part of the plot is funny, but you need to bait the hook to catch the fish. You've got that? Bait, fish... Oh, shut up!
Now, listen - this is important: before the story's conflict is set, you must create more intricate character backgrounds to make them stand out by themselves. That means, they need to be more complex. Not necessarily difficult. But they all need to be more thorough and relatable. If you can create roles where everyone has their own cons and pros, you'll just need to improve your wet puns to make the world the show's oyster! And instead of OnlyFans, Ursula will have OnlyFins. Have we got a deal?
The score is nice
Such catchy tunes
And don't underestimate the importance of their Disney tributes! (Ha!)
The melodies perhaps are not too daring
But you will find great charm in their pastiche
Yes, they might not be too haute
They're quite gimmicky - so what?
After all, they seem to please their audience niche
C'm on!
The cast is such a rolling ball of power!
Their talent is so slick and rather droll
And their voices are so strong
Each time they burst into song
Their endowment cannot ever look too small
You'll see...
Tom Lowe is such a thrill as Daddy Triton
No trident does he need to drill you-r heart
River Medway makes a splash,
Julian Capolei's a smash,
Shawna Hamic, as the lead, just nails the part
This mad 'Unfortunate' show
It's light, but good
Some cliches must be amended
And the lyrics must improve
But come to see it?
Yes, you should
This fun 'Unfortunate' show
Go ahead, now's your turn
If you're looking for an easy night
You know where you must crash
Buy a ticket, take your seat,
And do not sing your jukebox trash!
Flotsam, Jetsam - they spoke so weird this time!
It's never dull or slow
This queer 'Unfortunate' show
Beluga sevruga... You know what? That's enough.
All pictures credit to Pamela Raith.
Unfortunate plays at London’s Southwark Playhouse Elephant until 17 February. Tickets are available on the following link.