Review of ‘Myra Dubois: Be Well’: “The b*tch is back!”

The acclaimed drag artist presents her latest national tour, playing all across the UK and Ireland until the end of the next month. Guillermo Nazara shares his views on the show, to let us know if this heavy piece of comedy needs to be given some lip or suction.

I’m a b*tch, I’m a b*tch, cuz I’m better than you… No, I was not referencing the Elton John song, nor complementing the title of this review. I was just making a very solid, accurate and indisputable statement. I’m a b*tch. And I’m better than you. Period (no, not that one). Capiche? Good – now we can move on (well, you’ll probably need some time to wipe the tears off that cheap polyester frock I know you put on at night to pretend you’re a queen… -*sniff*-).

If I sound too bitter to you, well, f*ck off. But to be honest, you really cannot blame me, because I’ll slap you. But also, because I’ve been exposed… I don’t mean it in the dirty, sexual way (that’s my everyday, anyhow), but in the sense that I’ve been taken (dragged, if you prefer…) into a spicy rendezvouz with the meanest, cattiest, most venomous, sharped-clawed, bile-spitting, nerve-transmitting, shame-witting (this is getting panto vibes…) creature in the face of the world… Thank God I’m not taking that guy as my plus one anymore. But as for the performer, she was actually quite superb!

Alright, everyone, gird your loins! There’s another kind of devil in town, and this one certainly doesn’t wear Prada – more like of-Fendi. If you’re too shy to be put on the spotlight, you probably know why you don’t want people to see you, so congrats on your achievements in the self-awareness field; but also, you may want to avoid the front row – or the whole stalls area, for that matter. Nothing escapes Dubois’s miss pink-a-ton torch when she’s looking for her next victim. But don’t worry if you end up being the chosen one, it’s all in good fun – for us, that is…

Hilariously amusing and deliciously witty, Dubois’s life expertise will help you put your affairs in order (we know what’s been happening under the table, hun – literally!) and give you the soundest, most useful piece of advice you’ll probably ever hear: GO EFF SOMEONE ELSE WITH YOUR PROBLEMS!!! Who knows? You may make somebody find their newest kink. But no matter if your issues are solved or not (if years of Dr. Phil’s therapy haven’t worked, nothing can), one thing is for sure: you’re in for a good roast, even if it’s not Sunday.

Yet, there’s some major bumps that seem overlooked by our cocktail-studded guru (that didn’t land the way I intended… I was aiming for more filth), which sadly compromises the aftertaste of the whole experience (now it’s starting to come along… jackpot!). Morphing into a 50-year-old straight performer stuck in the 80s (only one colour from the rainbow flag flaunting there, babe), the show is preluded by the spiky-haired stand-up comedian, Frank Lavender. A savage tribute to the now dated humour of the time, the critical approach of its premise is made clear, but the delivery sadly mirrors what it tries to spoof way too closely – becoming too repetitive and, in the end, rather unnecessary, making next to no contribution to the effectiveness and, all in all, essence of what the show is all about (or at least, should be).

A brilliant second act preceded by a more average filler destined to live under its shadow, Be Well breaks away from the First Commandment of the Gay Decalogue by teaching us that the longer is not necessarily the better. A one-hour, straight-through piece is more than enough to make of it what could have been the most amazing, cracking and deeply memorable drag queen show in town, instead of getting muddled by a prologue that instead of paving the way to its elevated climax, it only makes it lose part of that erection (no pun intended). Just cut the foreplay and let’s get down to business. Take it all off and bring on the fun – oh, sorry, that line was intended for my Grindr…

All pictures credit to Ben Ephgrave.

Myra Dubois: Be Well will be on tour across the UK and Ireland until 19 October. Tickets are available on the following link.

By Guillermo Nazara