Review of ‘Scissorhandz’: “It gave me all the creeps”

Tim Burton’s timeless film classic relives onstage through this new camp musical parody, celebrating its London premiere at the Southwark Playhouse. Guillermo Nazara shares his views on the show, to let us know if this 80s-rock-themed revision brings any cutting-edge element to the party.

Somebody called me gay last night. I swear I wasn’t doing anything other than my usual hand-job, as I tried to spot the show’s bottom line – I’m a writer, so I need to take notes. How did that happen? I’m glad you asked – well, even if you didn’t, I’m going to tell you anyway. The thing is that yesterday’s performance saw the rising of a new star. For who could ever forget my 5-second contribution when a fictional TV host offered me my moment of glory by reading her idiot card out loud? Oh, sh*t…

Okay. Let’s get on with this. If you were born and raised (and bred…) in the 90s or early 2000s, chances are that you fell in love with Tim Burton’s postmodernist reinterpretation of Beauty and the Beast – and more than a few of you, with the man who gave life to the humanoid outcast whose blady looks did not stop him from piercing into our hearts; it may not be the case for some, but those are a fly in amber, from what I’ve heard…

Yes, our sweet Edward is back! Well, actually, that’s not his name anymore. And it’s longer a “he” that we’re talking about either, but a “they”. If you haven’t caught my drift by now, let me just cut to the chase (no pun intended). There’s nothing from the original fairy tale that you’ll miss in this version. It’s the same story, taken almost verbatim onto the stage – with the only differences being that it’s queerer, rockier and slightly gender-bender; I can’t emphasize that last word enough…

Written and directed by Bradley Bredweg, this queer jukebox musical makes us relive one of our favourite fantasy films (you will like what I tell you to like, b*tch) – through a constant spin of uproarious comedy, electrifying performances, and the campiest repertoire you could ever dream of. Following the same sparkling footsteps of musicals like & Juliet, Scissorhandz is a flamboyant celebration of self-identity, tolerance and acceptance – this time, through a much more faithful approach to the source material, but keeping the same untroubled, feel-good spirit that’s turned its predecessors into legends.

With its key strengths rooted primarily in the portrayals, all of the piece’s elements are nonetheless put together with notable craftsmanship. However, there’s still some work to be done – as several jokes could benefit from more wit and sharpness, while its concert-style opening number (somehow, detached from the rest of the narrative) seems rather unnecessary; especially, if the next song is going to serve the same purpose, but actually move the story forward.

But apart from the occasional trimming and honing the production may need, there’s no rotten chop to be given to this total slasher of a show – where parody, sentiment and meaning join forces to take audiences on a fully fueled, high-energy ride that’s as thrilling as it’s fun. Its over-the-top cast of characters (even more exaggerated than in Burton’s film) are definitely their most captivating asset – ranging from crazy religious zealots to horney sl*ts begging for some good scissoring (whatever that stands for…).

Furthermore, the chemistry the entire troupe flaunts, combined with quite an impressive display of vocals (despite some minor pitch problems) deserves anything but laceration. They are an absolute force of nature – with each and every one of them boasting great humourous skills, as well as exceptional flair and stamina.

Among them, Jordan Kai Burnett makes a stand-out portrayal as the lead through their compelling acting and spot-on Johnny Depp mannerisms. On the other hand, Tricia Adele-Turner brings the house down (though her character would probably prefer the opposite…) with her hilarious rendition of the mischievous Joyce Vanderpump – her infectious comedy bone also shared by Ryan O’Connor in the the triple role of Helen, Bill and Delia Deetz (the latter, supported by my own masterful addition…). Yet, the biggest praise is earned by Emma Williams as the all-caring Peg – playing her part with superb charm and presence, while also proving an excellent singing technique all throughout.

Vibrant, joyful and full of shear nonsense, Scissorhandz regales viewers with a fresh slice of pure musical spectacle – through an intimate montage that however spares no expense in terms of drollery, vigour and talent. With only a few tiny revisions needed for the piece to achieve its final form, the show is destined to make a long-lasting incision in the London scene – as well as guaranteed to please even some of the most hardcore fans of Burton’s all-time classic. It may not be the most transformative experience you’ll be granted at the theatre, but that’s hardly its point in the first place. It’s easy, quirky and utterly amusing. And when it comes to the January selection, it’s certainly made the cut in my list.

All pictures credit to Danny Kaan.

Scissorhandz plays at London’s Southwark Playhouse Elephant until 29 March. Tickets are available on the following link.

By Guillermo Nazara