Review of ‘Diamonds and Dust’: “Glittering spectacle gives audiences a tease of potential but lacks dita-tion”

London’s brand new Emerald Theatre hosts the premiere of Dita von Teese’s latest burlesque show, playing until the end of summer and starring acclaimed musical theatre performer Faye Tozer. Guillermo Nazara shares his views on the show — to let us know if venturing into its gleaming extravaganza is a mission to a-bort.

Nobody is searching for spiritual enlightenment when they come to a cabaret show. But at least, we expect to be entertained — and to be offered variety in what, by definition, is a variety piece. Dita von Teese’s latest theatrical endeavour, which opened last week at the recently rebranded Emerald Theatre (formerly known as the Proud Embankment), seems to grasp the basics of that concept. But when it comes to delivering it into its final form, the scratches begin to emerge in what hardly comes across as a polished gem.

Set in a worn-down saloon in the American Wild West, a glamorous yet withered madam (played by Faye Tozer) welcomes guests to the story of her life — a lineup of heartbreaks and humorous bitterness told through not the most appealing choice of words and assortment of used-up, predictable jokes and cliched lines.

As a performer, Tozer doesn’t give her best performance either. Though her likeable character never leaves the picture, her presence doesn’t have the charm and command she’s previously boasted onstage — all in all, offering us a tired and insecure portrayal, deprived of that electric allure she’s supposed to exude as an emcee. Add a not-too-credible ‘cowboy accent’ to the equation, and the result probably won’t come off positively.

Presented as a semi-immersive dinner-theatre experience, the production flaunts striking visual values. Intricately themed regarding both sets and costumes, every number is an absolute treat for the eyes, cleverly reshaping the ambience again and again through detailed lighting and the inclusion of key props.

Some numbers, especially the ones featured during Act Two, are also quite enjoyable and occasionally surprising, blending several impressive acrobatic numbers with intermittently high-stamina choreography and pleasant live music renditions. Yet, the praise for the show can only go so far, as its noticeable flaws overcome part of its achievements.

Not only is the pacing consistently off, but it also keeps losing rhythm as it progresses, particularly during the first half. Many acts are finished too abruptly, displaying no sense of conclusion, let alone punch. Some dance excerpts are also disappointing, feeling too simplistic and underdeveloped, while struggling to generate enough interest or excitement in the viewer.

The biggest sin in this God-forsaken place is, however, the fact that they do more than two-thirds of the material on pre-recorded tracks. Lacking a band is never enticing. Lacking a live singer for most of a full-length piece is rarely forgivable, particularly when the means to make it happen are already available.

The show’s overall repetitiveness provides little help to the cause. Though there’s flair and rapport in the numbers, many of them rely on the same idea, just put together with a different colour palette. Consequently, the experience doesn’t land as desired — finding difficulty to make an impression (or at least, a too favourable one) and building up a slight but persistent dull vibe throughout.

With a finish as sparkling as its title, but a lesser crystal-clear cut in terms of narrative and the kind of product it’s aiming for, Diamonds and Dust brandishes an inviting front facet. Yet, the glimmer emanating from this first look can’t disguise the rest of the show’s medium-to-low carat weight for too long. Rough around the edges, and probably further in, but still holding the potential to deliver something better than the cabaret zircon it often feels like, the piece could eventually turn itself into the precious jewel it tries to evoke. As of now, though, I’m adamant that it has.

All pictures credit to Chris Davis Studio.

Diamonds and Dust plays at London’s Emerald Theatre until 28 September. Tickets are available on the following link.

By Guillermo Nazara