Review of ‘I’m Every Woman’: “Chaka Khan musical bio’s got the love, but it doesn’t put a spell on anyone”

Her life is nearly as iconic as her artistic legacy. But if there’s something recent jukebox musicals have taught us, it is that good dramaturgy is no longer relevant — no matter how painfully boring the recount may become. It is baffling, to put it mildly. How can such a dramatically promising premise devolve into arguably one of the most pedestrian narratives ever put on the mainstream stage?

This is the story of an incredibly strong person who continuously swam against the tide and still managed to overcome every single obstacle she faced. After facing family estrangement, drug addiction, physical abuse, racism, and parental neglect, you would think there’s nothing this lady can’t cope with. However, sitting through this two-and-a-half-hour biographical travesty might be where she draws the line. At least, I do.

Welcome to I’m Every Woman. The only reason not to call it a total disaster is its exceptional cast. We shall focus on that later. Let’s talk about the rest first, because there’s a lot to talk about — a whole lot. As I’m flipping through the pages of my oversized programme, I come across a greeting message from Chaka Khan herself, stating that theatre “demands everything — your energy, your spirit, your vulnerability.” I absolutely agree. If only the creatives had considered that notion during its gestation process.

As much as Chaka walks repeatedly through the fire, this show is hardly on it. There is no heart or introspection. I suspect that the writer, Nia T. Hill, might have taken the song Life Is A Dance far too literally. Consequently, audiences are obliged with a confusing segment featuring Chaka and her second husband having a domestic dispute à la Matthew Bourne, which is off-putting at best and ridiculous at worst.

Such clumsiness imbues the entire script. No scene is salvageable. From clunky dialogue that screams artificiality to an overall infuriatingly shallow approach, there’s not a single element in it that’s remotely compelling. Despite its real-life basis, the characters are extremely one-dimensional. None of them experiences a solid arc — not even its protagonist.

Other than getting herself committed to rehab after losing it with her imaginary friend (yes, you’ve read that correctly), there’s no actual growth or evolution in what should have been a deeply poignant journey. And ultimately, the writing looks more clueless and heavy-handed than a Lifetime original — with virtually no magic in its words or beyond them.

The lack of instinct in the structuring of the numbers is also problematic. Many songs feel shoerhorned. And rarely do they move the plot forward or delve into the personages’ quest. Instead, they act as a complementary tool whose sole reason to exist is that the show happens to be a musical. But it isn’t organic. Or emotive. And ultimately, the whole thing comes off as a formulaic attempt — without proper understanding of the genre’s essence and inner workings.

I’d love to tell you something good about the production. But I can’t. Not in terms of staging, that is. The design is excruciatingly cheap. We can acknowledge Zoe Spurr’s lighting, which is detailed, vibrant, and deeply atmospheric. But no praise can be given to its lazy scenery. There’s nothing in it apart from sliding blank panels serving as screens for flavourless video designs, which are either bland or over-the-top — but always dreadful.

Let’s end on a high note by lauding the company’s extraordinary singing. Everyone flaunts impeccable vocals, complemented by their adequate rapport and high-octane stamina. Alexandra Burke shines as Chaka Khan. The acting might not be the most impressive, but the script’s clunkiness is responsible for at least half of that flaw, which isn’t too major in the first place. In any case, her presence is magnetic, and her star quality fills the space in what’s ultimately a powerhouse performance.

Similar to the movie IP, there is a current trend of turning the lives of music legends into stage musicals. Nothing wrong about the idea, but the fact that most of the latest ones are hopelessly executed should mean something — and it’s not a sweet thing. Dull and oblivious, I’m Every Woman is more likely to make viewers want to pack their bags and avoid sitting through stuff like that.

I’m Every Woman plays at London’s Trobadour Wembley Park until 27 September. Tickets are available on the following link.

By Guillermo Nazara