London’s Waterloo East Theatre hosts, only for this week, the transfer of this new musical exploring the ups and downs of online dating. Guillermo Nazara shares his views on the show, to let us know if the piece is worth rooting…for.
Fee-fi-fo-fum – I smell the blood of an Englishman. Fee-fi-fo-fum – I cannot wait to drink his… What? I was just trying to make the rhyme work properly for the first time in – forever! And don’t tell me I went too far ’cause I know what you’re really thinking… Sorry – I’m taken… by a few… lots. Sound familiar? Don’t worry, hun – nobody’s judging you when it comes to sex. They will do it on your looks, though. And definitely on your Instagram account. But when it comes to fun, they don’t give a f***. Well, they do (that’s what they’re here for). But you know what I mean.
Musicals about dating apps have become so common nowadays it’s actually surprising when a new season doesn’t open with, at least, a few of them. From the previous Grindr – The Opera (review available here) to the upcoming Tinderella (both at the Union Theatre), comments on how relationships, particularly in the queer community, have evolved and shaped in a completely different way through technology seem to be a new creatives’ fetish – I can only imagine what they like to do in bed, then… Uh-hum.
A few months after f*cking men (we all need to be relaxed to write… and also, the play), the Tough Nut Company has arrived (no pun intended) with a new take on gay (though fairly transferable to any kind) romance – sort to speak… Enter (not the way you’re picturing) GuyMart, a musical parody transforming the app into a supermarket (not that much of a difference in reality), and revolving around the individual experience of a naive newcomer – again, please don’t look for the double entendre…
Written and directed by George Lacey and with music by Richard Seaman, the show presents us with an old (yet fair) observation on our day-to-day interactions when it comes to love life. We fear to be alone, yet we get even pickier about whom we choose. And if it gets serious, we tend to run away – only to go back to square one and pity ourselves once again. A vicious circle that almost any gay man has to face way too often, perhaps the results of the shame and lack of support instigated by our own families and upbringing, the piece aims for (and somehow, provides with) a fun and slightly introspective look into modern relations. However, it fails to take advantage of its own potential.
Featuring enticing 80s/90s-style songs with remarkably catchy melodies (a most refreshing and praiseworthy trait given the alarming lack of them in current new theatre), the montage counts on some well staged musical numbers, but doesn’t deliver the rest of its content to the same level. The lyrics, while charming and well-structured, do not however bring out the necessary wit and bitchiness a spoof (particularly, focused on gay themes) is supposed to have. At the same time, the book feels underdeveloped – properly setting the cue for the renditions, but unable to find an identity and carry anything else than a mere transition between tunes.
Exploring every single possibility of the dating game (from one-night escapades to finally meeting who could be the one), by doing that, the montage forgets about what should be the essence of its storyline: the guy market itself. Except for a few minor remarks, we’re not really taken into that universe, which would have been an excellent opportunity to depict (through a hilarious allegory) the ups and downs of sex (yep, there’s many of those) and love life. In addition, the fact that a whole relationship is handled in only 60 minutes compromises the pacing quite severely – not allowing for a fulfilling arc or character development and individuality.
As for the cast, the acting is no doubt their strongest skill, portraying their parts with sufficient stage presence and compelling determination. Sadly, though, several interpretations are mildly out of tune, while the way they project their voices is, in general, a bit unpolished. Yet, there’s some applaud to be given, in this case greatly deserved by its lead actor, Daniel Walford – for his warm, relatable performance, as well as exuding the most competent singing abilities in the whole company.
Parting from an original premise, GuyMart still needs to buy a few more goods while tossing off (I mean, OUT!) the items it can’t (and shouldn’t) put on sale. The chance to make of it an exciting, feel-good and even insightful evening are in its own core – don’t you only introduce us to that world, makes us dive into it, become a part and relish on its uniqueness. We’ve learned it the hard way in the gay scene, already – for things to happen, you must let things open wide.
GuyMart plays at London’s Waterloo East Theatre until 12 November. Tickets are available on the following link.